How To Show Up For Your Humble Friend

Do Lunch: A great way to show up for this person in your life is showing you care through small acts of love. One idea we advise is picking them up some lunch. It sounds simple but drop them a message if you are near their office or home: Hey I am in the area, if you’re not too busy I was going to pick up some lunch and bring it to you... Be mindful this person might not love surprises so don’t act before they have given you the green light, but even the gesture itself will make them feel seen and appreciated.

Take them out: Often this type of person will go out of their way to make sure the collective is happy and this can mean them attending events or heading to places that aren’t necessarily their style. Make sure to pay attention to the environments this friend thrives in: they might hate the club but enjoy a walk around a gallery and a low-key meal afterward, they might be a big fan of the pub or love a long walk. Pay close attention to the environments that make them feel their best selves and remember to make sure that what you and your inner circle do with your time together is inclusive of everyone. Plan it out and then let your friend know by telling them you recgonised they loved X the last time you visited.

Celebrate the wins: In some ways, this type of person might find it quite hard to celebrate the wins sometimes. Often achievements are something they keep quite close to their chest but we all know when a friend celebrates you it means the world. This could be due to imposter syndrome, introversion, or simply a character trait, but knowing your friends are proud and celebrating your achievements is huge. Approach this in a few ways: even a bunch of flowers on the way to someone's house or an IG post celebrating that person in your life means so much and could be the push that person needs to revel in their success.

Did you know, according to medical research cited in the book Friends: Understanding the Power of Our Most Important Relationships, the number of quality friendships we have has a bigger influence on our happiness and health than almost any other lifestyle changes... So, nurturing and showing up for all of our different friends is not only sending love out to them but also an act of self-love.

This is where a little intuition and sensitivity come into play. This type of friend might not always be the most forthcoming with what they need or want from your conversations or about the ways you should show up for them. This isn't because they don’t understand themselves, they just tend to air on the more humble side.

Take time to understand their passions and what makes them tick – this can be as small as sending them a post you’ve seen online or dropping a message to say Oh this really reminded me of you. This is one of the smallest yet most impactful ways to remind a person you love and know them - make a habit of it.

Other things to discuss and celebrate with this friend:

A new job. They might pass it off and not shout it from the rooftops but let them know you are proud and want to celebrate in a way that makes them feel good. If this is heading to their home or their favourite spot in town – make the effort and celebrate the win.

Identify important milestones. Pay attention to what they are working towards or what they want to achieve, so that when they have achieved it you can recognise it. A bunch of flowers or picking up something small like your best friend's favourite dessert before seeing them are great gestures to show you understand what they are about.

Birthdays. This is all about knowing your friend, if they aren’t the type of person to love a surprise party at a bar – why are you throwing one? Planning an intimate meal at a restaurant and giving them the heads up but withholding the location is a good in-between, this way they know the when and who but you can show your love by remembering their favourite spots in town. This could also be booking a making session, doing a sports activity or booking an exhibition on their favourite artist.

• Let them know it is okay to not attend: Some environments are just not going to work for this kind of person and letting them know it is okay to feel this way reduces a huge amount of pressure.

• Gift them something to enhance their environment: This type of person finds sanctuary in their personal spaces so buying them small gifts that enhance this will be greatly appreciated. This could be candles, flowers, or room fragrances for example.

• Handwritten notes: Often this type of friend is inherently sentimental, the type of friend to have a memory box... So a handwritten note is often a sacred gift for them - write it down they will treasure it.

• Always pay attention: The key to making this friend feel honoured is inherently linked to them feeling like you understand their idiosyncrasies. Every now and again remind them that you know what they are about and how much you love to make them feel the love too.